Overtime that I go to a city, I always end up looking down every alleyway and side street that I come upon. I love the architecture, the lines, and the fact that they're different and you never know what will be found. I have wanted to do a series on alleyways for years but still do not feel confident enough in my portrayal of architecture to do the images that I have in my head justice, so every drawing or painting that I have done of them so far (and most likely will do for a while longer), is preparatory.
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I think that it is safe to say that my best evaluative criteria for my current paintings would be through expressionism. I am studying realism in my classes and I think that moves towards expressionist works are a way to counteract that. I am currently doing a lot of landscape paintings for this class, and I think that it is a direct result of my need for an outlet to express my stress and anxiety as both a meditative experience and as a way to create places where I can escape from the daily grind.
That is not to say that I dislike realism- I think it’s awesome and I feel accomplished when I am finally able to negotiate a tough subject- I simply mean that it provides relief from what I have been studying for the past 4 years. However, I have older works which most definitely could be evaluated through instrumentalism. When I first entered art school, I wanted to concentrate on environmental issues and later social issues. I don’t necessarily think that this type of art is behind me either. I agree that art is a powerful tool for informing the public- if it is done correctly, and I think that expressionism can either strengthen or weaken the message. The reading discusses works by artist Sue Coe, and while her works are clearly meant to argue a point, I think that her style is, in fact, excessive and overwhelms the viewer. The more successful propaganda art pieces often let the viewers come to their own conclusions and I feel that her aggressive way of communicating with the viewers will end up having the opposite effect on some. I guess I've gotten on another landscape kick. I have a tendency to paint them when I feel overwhelmed, and since I haven't had access to my anti-anxiety meds these past few weeks I guess it isn't that surprising. I know that it's not exactly a new concept, these landscapes- and I'm not doing them in any groundbreaking new way.... but I like them. I guess they can become an escape for me- both visually and through the process of actually painting them. They give me an opportunity to experiment with different techniques and I like to play with unconventional colors and see how realistic I can make them. It helps that they tend to turn out pretty impressionistic- one of my classmates told me that they disliked how the picture is lost when they look closely at it. But that's what I like. Painting is important to me because it helps me express myself without having to use words- or even be literal. I guess I see these as a reflection of how I view myself.....somewhat: looking somewhat put-together from afar, but much more chaotic when seen close up. I used to try and copy some of Van Gogh's landscapes from his time in Arles and I definitely have found those paintings (his, not my copies) to be very large influences. To a smaller extent, I guess I try to emulate Cezanne's color theory- specifically his ideals of how cooler colors retreat and warmer ones stand out. I tried doing that with the individual blades of grass in my larger painting, gradually getting warmer and larger as I moved to the bottom of the canvas. That was lost when I went back in tonight though. I've never been to the places which they painted, but viewing their works is able to make me feel as though I am standing in the painting- not because they look real (they do not), but because the brushstrokes used are so enticing and make me feel like there is more happening behind each one. I want to be able to capture that kind of feeling. I know that they were masters of their crafts and were actually painting en plain air, whereas I am working on top of a dirty sheet within my apartment and don't even have photo references...... but Iwant each of these places to be real so badly that I think I may ve able to one day give them the lives that they have in my head.
I started a new piece for my Portfolio class. I usually never do things like this, but I was not sure what else to do and I had been ,mentioning artist Hajin Bae to a classmate a few weeks ago and I got to thinking about how she pays attention to hair. She uses a lot of intricate line work to communicate hair styles- and coupled with her minimalist approach to the rest of her portraits, I think that it creates an interesting effect. I have also been recently mourning Carrie Fisher's death, as I have had a great respect for her openness about her own battles with manic depression. I wanted to experiment with her iconic Star Wars bun-do and Hajon Bae's specific portraiture. I didn't have any paint available to me at the time, so I decided to use ballpoint pen on canvas, a combination which I have never done before.Of course, the drawing got away from me as I continued to channel Hajin Bae's pop-art style and the end result was a drawing of a young girl looking down, with her ballerina bun as the focal point. I forgot to take a photograph of the drawing after showing it in class- but I went back over it with acrylic paint- initially intending to only add color to a couple of spots, but eventually covering the entire canvas. I have included shots of the current progress of the painting- which I am not very satisfied with and intend to continue to work into- as well as some screenshots of Hajon Bae's work which I had used as inspiration. I feel very bad because I have had multiple blog assignments for my current Portfolio Exhibition class which I have not posted. I am going to try and get better, as this is a weekly assignment and I do not want to fail one of the last classes that I need to graduate.
But I digress- this week, we were to read a compilation of excerpts from the book Letters to a Young Artist, in which a number of contemporary artists answer a letter posed by The Young Artist, Elizabeth Murray, asking for advice about maintaining artistic integrity whilst attempting to establish one's self in the workplace. Murray makes a statement about showing art which I have found myself relating to, which is the fact the she does not wish to show how work until she feels that she has gained a true sense of herself and found her own identity within her work. Among many artists instructing Murray to “just keep working” , I enjoyed Lawrence Weiner’s observation about how art must always be questioned- not just by the viewer or the critic, but most importantly by the artist. As a student who is still struggling to decide what she wants to do and how she wants to communicate her ideas to the public, I felt that it was helpful to know that continually asking myself these questions is a good sign. I understand that it is important to just keep working through all of the blocks and obstacles that either I or others have put up, especially with two part-time jobs and an 18 credit hour school schedule. It was helpful to hear that others have been through similar struggles but found a way to make things work for them. I want to continue to make art- especially for an outlet for creative expression. I have ofter wondered how to balance making work for the public vs. making work for myself in a way that can ensure that I could make a living whilst still maintaining my own artistic integrity. I would like to find this balance, but I am aware that I will not be able to begin to officially establish myself as working artist at first and am currently looking to find jobs that I may be able to take in the meantime as a way of making ends meet. I am excited to see what’s in store, but I am also very nervous. |
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AuthorArt Student at Flagler College. I am frequently instructed to write blog entries about my artistic thoughts and process. Archives
April 2017
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